Tag Archives: Companions

Why we force ourselves to live in seclusion and why it is actually hurting us.



“And in this curious state I had the realization, at the moment of seeing that stranger there, that I was a person like everybody else. That I was known by my actions and words, that my internal universe was unavailable for inspection by others. They didn’t know. They didn’t know, because I never told them.”  – Kim Stanley Robinson


You surround yourself all day with people, whether it be at your job or taking classes at a university. You finally make it home at the end of the day; you realize there’s nothing you’d rather do more than turn your phone off, ignore everybody’s calls and text messages, and shut the world out. You repeat this routine daily until you’ve slowly found yourself working from home and taking occasional classes online. You can’t seem to remember the last time you had a good night out with friends. The vibrates from your phone seem scarce and before you know it, your closest friends have given up trying to keep up whatever relationship you had left with them. 

Okay this is getting kind of depressing and we can’t keep living like this. 

Though the solitude may feel exhilarating and it may feel like you’ve begun accomplishing all your personal goals and that you’re moving in the right direction – you’re wrong.

You miss people aggravating and harassing you. That is because this kind of connection with the “outside world” is absolutely necessary to live the best life you are given. We thrive from human contact, we learn from other beings, and work fantastically along side likeminded ones. 

A few reasons one may want to seclude themselves in the first place are:

1. Lack of trust in others – This could have stemmed from consistent (or just one person) betraying another’s trust. Often times people will disconnect due to lack of faith in others. Usually others will begin seeming less and less trustworthy over a longer period of time.

2. Depression/Anxiety – Some people suffer from internal difficulties when it comes to interacting with others. It could be due to environmental or social factors as a young child, or a traumatic experience happening to them during their life.

3. To be in peace – Sure being alone can be peaceful for a certain duration of time. People like to have the ability to escape in a sense from everyday struggles and reality. For some, being alone can be very therapeutic. 

Though some of these mentioned reasons may sound relevant and appealing to your life, they are not in the long run. Living in seclusion can actually enhance the first two reasons I mentioned and give people a warped sense of reality, a delusion of perception if you will. We trust less and fear more when we are not given the ability to experience interaction first hand. This then increases levels of depression and anxiety because we develop less control of much of what we were once able to control. The greater the fear, the greater the chance of running away, for many. It does not allow people to open up to others and robs them of the ability to relate to the many people out there that share similar minds.

What many tend to forget is that there about about 7 billion other people in the world.. This means a few things.

1. There are probably 7 billion other people out there who feel the same way as you.

2. There are 7 billion other people who are worrying and judging themselves, they aren’t living to judge you.

3. There are 7 billion other people out there for you to teach and learn from.

In the large scheme of things, we are all nothing compared to the many others out there in this world. In the small scheme of things, we still have very high chances of meeting others who can help better our lives in ways we may never even comprehend.

Turn your phones on, get out there and try new things. Open your hearts to all the people who may pass by and show interest in you. One day when you are old and wise, you will be able to look back and be grateful that you were able to learn what you did from all the other living beings who are lucky enough to have met you.